I am broken,
Not internally, but from the whole;
Defined by fragmentation.
Once I was a part,
But time has cast me apart,
Calling for my head,
(Which doesn’t even belong to me),
With fervish conviction.
And I am numb once again,
The sensation I had hoped I had left behind,
So many trespasses ago,
When silence was my virtue,
Formed from frustration as opposed to subservience,
Has followed me with my fissure.
Anesthetized, I lay, unchanged by tumult;
Vibrations almost-born in me,
Die out in quiet shame,
For they cannot find breath in my still-born form.
Time collapsed on itself,
As my internal voice, unknown, cried out:
I survived my plight, a burden only realized by myself, so many daybreaks ago,
Through perseverance mixed with obstinance,
The drive that pulled me through towards tomorrow;
My younger, more elastic self.
“Life will be better once you get to college and escape this.”
They whispered; an attempt at consolation,
Through the verbiage of their death cult that decided the course of their own lives:
‘Forsake today in the name of tomorrow’,
Demands of fealty to hollow promises gave life to the plague;
The indifference of a locked screen door.
Deliver me from evil, oh Lord,
With terms I can afford,
For absolution at any cost,
To me, is a message lost.