The vibrations hang, suspended

I am broken,

Not internally, but from the whole;

Defined by fragmentation.

Once I was a part,

But time has cast me apart,

Calling for my head,

(Which doesn’t even belong to me),

With fervish conviction.

And I am numb once again,

The sensation I had hoped I had left behind,

So many trespasses ago,

When silence was my virtue,

Formed from frustration as opposed to subservience,

Has followed me with my fissure.

Anesthetized, I lay, unchanged by tumult;

Vibrations almost-born in me,

Die out in quiet shame,

For they cannot find breath in my still-born form.

Time collapsed on itself,

As my internal voice, unknown, cried out:

“This again?”

I survived my plight, a burden only realized by myself, so many daybreaks ago,

Through perseverance mixed with obstinance,

The drive that pulled me through towards tomorrow;

My younger, more elastic self.

“Life will be better once you get to college and escape this.”

They whispered; an attempt at consolation,

Through the verbiage of their death cult that decided the course of their own lives:

‘Forsake today in the name of tomorrow’,

Demands of fealty to hollow promises gave life to the plague;

The indifference of a locked screen door.

Deliver me from evil, oh Lord,
With terms I can afford,
For absolution at any cost,
To me, is a message lost.

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