Forever My Brother

This blank page reminds me,
That no matter how hard I scream,
My words will never bring you back to me.
All I will be left with is what came before you:
Empty space in your shape.
You were the piece that we lost,
In the chaos of our own lives,
We just decided to live with the fact,
That our puzzle-lives weren’t complete.
“Maybe it’s supposed to look like that.”
Your departure cut that conversation short.
That abscesses we called happiness
Festered and spread,
“At least we’re happy”
As if happiness is a secondary goal.
You taught us calculus when we struggled with arithmetic,
And for that I must utter,
Words you may never hear:
I’m sorry.
For not hearing you when I told you I listened.
For forgetting that there are no repeats.
For missing you when you would laugh at me for writing this.
I’ll always love you, brother.