Yester-Self

My body is crawling away,
Possessed by some unearthly force,
An abomination, one might say.
But my mind is burning bright!
Longing to be heard once more and carressed under the sweet gaze of attention.
“I” want to be heard, from within.
Not as some external source of sense data.
I want more than that, now.
I want you to hear me without me talking.
I want you and every other you to know the way I say words,
As well as the words I say.
This is all rusty.
It’s all wrong.
The gears are grinding against each other,
The epitome of inefficient.
But it’s a necesssary step.
The one leap that takes you from this comfort zone across the gap.
This land isn’t better.
It isn’t greener.
But it’s newer.
It’s not as safe.
It sets me off-balance a bit,
And I’ve found that dance moves comee springing forth once you get rid of the bondage of balance.
But this isn’t about dancing.
Not right now at least.
This is about you.
And my wordst o you.
You better listen up,
But not right now.
It’s too late for you to listen.
See, you’ve already run off to sleep.
But you will listen.
Listen before I speak.
You’ll see the difference in my words before they leap from my antiquated lips.

I forgot what it meant to change.
Shit, let’s be honest for two ticks; I forgot a lot of things.
Meaning started eroding from my memories,
My foundations started to slip.
In short,
It’s been a messy season.
But Spring cleaning is just around the corner, and why wait for the rest of the world to catch up?
The purge is destined to happen,
Because I decided it was so.
Not for any reason but to reassert my claim on this territory: life.
I refuse to be an ancient relic in my own modern time.
I refuse t o become the fossil fuel for the next generation.
I will not accept my circumstances,
But rather explore them to redefine them.
This pain If eel is good.
It’s a writer’s pain.
Almost like phantom limb with how long it took.
I almost lost my pen arm.
This calls fro a celebration!
Tonight, we drink to our good friend: Our Yester-self.
Goodbye, friend.
I’ll call you when I need you.

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