Not today.
Not yesterday.
I don’t know when it happened.
It’s hard to remember;
Life before Him.
It’s like smoking.
We gauge our time as the passing in between these cigarettes;
A day isn’t 24 hours,
It’s a pack of cigarettes.
And you can’t even remember what it’s like,
What life feels like without nicotine.
That’s how He is.
Is he a drug?
Doubtful.
Addictive?
Certainly.
He opens you up, you know?
Breaks down your walls with so much ease.
Expects so much of you,
But doesn’t leave you in the cold with a map.
No, he guides you just as long as you need.
Is he the Constructor?
A rebel that isn’t aiming towards destruction?
It sure seems like it.
But who can know his motives, you know?”
Breathe in; soul spills out.
Nicotine rush.
Ahh.
“Some people call him evil; a villain under the guise of virtue.
A trickster, manipulating people to his own end.
I think that’s jealousy manifested.
People get scared, man.
When they’re ideologies get threatened, when people start to leave, when they get confronted with something that makes sense , that they can’t shrug off: they lash out.
People don’t care about Truth anymore.
No sir.
They care about Order.
They want things to stay still,
Just long enough for us to figure this out,
Then we can move ahead, maybe.
Not Him, though.
No, sir, not this man.
He’s in flux; his mind constantly shooting into places and people we thought were deserted or uninhabitable.
He’s a One, man.
He’s that kind of person that stands alone.
Doesn’t need anything from the outside.
But He still chooses us.
Chooses humanity, you know?
That says something.
He’s got my vote.
Like I’ve got a choice.
If I went against Him,
I’d be going against what I know is right, you know?
Going against myself, deep down.
He just wakes you up.
Yeah, that’s it.
Wakes you up.”
Ash.
Drag.
Soul-spill.
Extinguish.
“We’ll, that’s my bit, and sounds like my train is coming up.
Nice meeting you; I hope I didn’t shock you too much.
I’m just a messenger, really.
Just think about what Ive said?
Could you do that?
As a favor to another human being?.
I’d sure appreciate it.
I’ll meet you again, I’m sure.
And we’ll have to exchange formalities all over again, the formalities of different people.
Especially you.”
—
Tell me I’m a liar.
That what I claim is false.
I dare you.
I dare you to deny me,
And then look at yourself in the mirror.
I am not building a castle on clouds.
I claim nothing unreasonable, I think?
We must simply reorient ourselves.
We’ve deviated.
We’ve let ourselves be led by the immoral rather than the amoral.
And believe me, this is only a step.
We use society to our advantage, exhaust it as a resource.
So let me teach,
And learn what you can.
Take everything I throw at you
So that you may grow,
And one day, far along the road,
Look me in the eyes and say:
“I don’t need you.”
The heartbreak that follows is a conditional response;
It sells movies.
But do not be so naive to think this is a refusal of a person;
No not quite that at all.
Rather,
This statement allows one to claim:
“I choose you.
